


healing smile

by daydream15



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Lowercase, M/M, Pining, doyu is doyu and doyoung is doyoung, i guess, they're in love, this is my first ever work, timeskips?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 08:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13876899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydream15/pseuds/daydream15
Summary: all you need to fall in love with nakamoto yuta are eyes, and kim dongyoung sure has a pair





	healing smile

**Author's Note:**

> jshdjs this is my first ever work ever like ever ever ever don't expect too much i'm sorry TTATT i love doyu so much and i hope you enjoy reading this bc it was very fun to write ^^' good luck

yuta is so easy to love. it's easy to love his outgoing personality, it's easy to love his smile, it's easy to let him make you smile. it's also easy to read through him. it's easy to know when he's sad or annoyed, and if you know him, it's easy to make him feel better, because yuta is an easy person. he lets everyone see everything. he wears his heart on his sleeve, for everyone to see, because he knows people usually don't look. so all you need is eyes, and you'll fall in love with him. because yuta is easy to love.

 

that's why it took dongyoung only a few months upon meeting yuta to fall in love with him. those few months were the most confusing and most frustrating dongyoung's ever lived through, or so he believes. days were filled with awkward conversations between him and the other trainees, especially those who come from across seas. they talked using translator apps which weren't really the best translators, dongyoung learned after a few misunderstandings, one of which escalated to a heated argument, but they served the purpose until the foreigners learned korean. talking with natives was a bit less draining and a bit more encouraging, as they would comfort each other even if all they could spare were two words in a day.

 

even so, conversations with yuta were all dongyoung could make out of his days when he tried to recall them every night before bed. they were short, yes, but they would always leave an imprint in dongyoung's mind. he would remember the way yuta waved his hands around, made various facial expressions, the way he panicked when he thought dongyoung misunderstood him, the way his eyes narrow when he tries to understand what dongyoung is saying and the way his face lights up when he finally understands, the way he laughed, at himself, at dongyoung, _because_ of dongyoung. although, that's something dongyoung wasn't quite sure of, but he likes to think he could be the reason behind that beautiful smile.  
"beautiful smile" dongyoung mocked himself. he couldn't believe what he was thinking so he just shook it off.

 

dogyoung wasn't really sure when he started feeling different about yuta, but the change in his heart was undeniable. was it when yuta had finally learned enough korean to hold a decent conversation with him? or was it when he comforted dongyoung, deciphring his feelings when no one else could, even despite understanding very little? or maybe it was when he overheard him talking to his family and heard the sincerety and love in his voice? he didn't know and he didn't care. all dongyoung could do now, quite frankly, was panic. he was scared of his own feelings, and he didn't know what to do about it. he couldn't talk to anyone, wasn't really close to anyone apart from maybe taeyong, but he didn't want to spill his heart to someone and be judged, dongyoung was too guarded for that anyway. so he did what he did best, which he was now starting to doubt, and that was thinking. he tried to figure out what to do and how to either ignore his feelings or, well, not let them get in the way.

 

except that it didn't work. he tried telling himself that yuta didn't like him, that loving him is stupid and pointless and it may ruin their current relationship. he tried thinking about other things, talking to other people, even avoiding yuta. he tried persuading himself he doesn't like him. but no matter what dongyoung did, he couldn't help the way his heart skipped a beat every time yuta addressed him, or the way his whole heart would fill up when yuta smiled at him. he couldn't help the way his brain malfunctioned whenever yuta was around. which made it all the worse when they were told they'd be debuting together, and worst of all, sharing a room. if there was anything good in dongyoung's situation right now, it's that at least they had a third roommate. actually, maybe that wasn't so good. because, as much as dongyoung wanted only the best for everyone, he was also a bit jealous of those who got what he wanted. in this case, he was jealous of sicheng for getting yuta's attention and love by doing nothing but breathing. dongyoung yearned for that. he wanted to be acknowledged by yuta, he wanted to be showered with his love, he wanted his touch and he wanted his heart. of course, dongyoung would never admit this, or act upon it. he was happy with what he got, small moments of sincerety between the two of them were enough for him. or so he led himself to believe.

 

dongyoung knew yuta. he knew his heart, and his mind. he wasn't always able to tell what he was thinking though, but he didn't have to, because if yuta needed to talk about it, he always would, and dongyoung was more than ready to listen. he knew about yuta's feeling homesick, he knew about his insecurities and he knew yuta sometimes felt like he had made a mistake coming to korea pursuing a dream. he knew about the time his mother was sick and yuta wanted to go back, wanting to be with his mom and help her. he knew about the time yuta's big sister wanted to come to korea, to be with yuta, as an exchange student but didn't have the gpa for it. he knew about his little sister breaking her arm when she was in a judo tournament (still won the bronze medal though). he knew the little things and the big things, and it made him happy to know that yuta wanted to share all of this with him. it made dongyoung even happier, knowing that yuta wasn't like this with others. he had a barrier, a wall that he seemed to put up when he wanted to appear as only a 'happy go lucky guy from osaka'. but dongyoung knew, that even saying that word meant the world to yuta. and so he knew how to make him feel better. he knew yuta often needed reassurance but didn't want too much of it, as it would just make him sway even more. he knew yuta liked walks, but he also knew when he wanted to be alone. he knew when yuta needed a hug or cuddling, but he also knew when he needed it from whom. so dongyoung didn't push it. he was there for him, ready to be exploited at any time, because, really, yuta already owns his heart.

 

so when, three years after the great fall of kim dongyoung, at nct 127's first anniversary fan event, yuta says dongyoung is the reason behind his smile, and therefore happiness, he is startled. they have created an image in front of the camera, always bickering and teasing, never really serious around each other. not that they were much different in person, they still bickered because they were the only ones able to take the other's wit and it had become their 'thing', to always fire back and anticipate a reply, coming up with a new, more brilliant one. the only difference is that off camera they were them. yuta and dongyoung, humans, not yuta and doyoung, nct members. they were people, they were breakable, they were complex, having many sides to them, many more than only bickering and occasional making up.

 

dongyoung kept opening his rolling paper, going over the words again and again. he was convinced that he'd misread it, that yuta didn't say it, he had no reason to anyway. or maybe yuta did it for the fans, he was known for fanservice after all, and dongyoung shouldn't get his hopes up. he told sicheng he loved him in three languages, dongyoung couldn't compare. but that slight chance of yuta's words being sincere, after all he knew how to put his true feelings out there and act like it's nothing so it wouldn't be a stretch dongyoung hoped, that slight chance was worth taking. so dongyoung, being dongyoung, decided to confront yuta about this. as much as he wanted to let it go, he just couldn't stop thinking about it. he didn't know what it meant, he couldn't understand it, and dongyoung hated not being able to understand.

 

"hyung?" he called, unsure, knocking on the door of his past room.  
"come in." dongyoung tried not to push past the door too fast, not too seem urgent or needy, when, in actuality, that is exactly what he was.  
"what's up?" yuta asked nonchalantly as dongyoung closed the door behind him.  
"uh.." he hesitated, not knowing how to start. "remember that showcase we had last week?" he asked when he settled down on yuta's bed. nostalgic, he thinks.  
"yeah, it was very cool. what about it?" yuta... seemed nervous? perhaps dongyoung was just projecting. "well, uh" yuta's eyes focused on his and he faltered. "you said something then, and i want to know if you really meant it." dongyoung stumbled on his own words, and he mentally laughed at himself because of how uncharacteristic this was. maybe not so much, but he believed he worked good under pressure. if his gaze earlier was intense, it was nothing compared to how yuta was looking at him now, and it gave dongyoung a weird mixture of confidence and self-consciousness. "what?" he asks seriously. "you said you smile because you are happy, and you are happy every day because of me. did you really mean it? or was it just for the fans?" dongyoung was becoming red, and he thinks he may have sounded a bit more impatient than he'd intended, but had no time to dwell on it since yuta's reply came right away. "yes, dongs, i meant it. why would you even doubt it?" dongyoung was at a loss for words. he'd never seen yuta like this, confident but soft, like he was allowing himself to be vulnerable for dongyoung, but remained proud. dongyoung couldn't understand it. "dongs..." yuta trailed off, but it brought dongyoung to reality and his attention was diverted back at yuta. "there's a reason i said that." he put simply. dongyoung was confused. never in his life had he ever felt this lost, especially with how the tension in the room grew rapidly with every passing moment. yuta didn't say anything and dongyoung was on pins and needles. he panicked when yuta came closer, wanting to run away but not being able to move. instinctively, he closed his eyes. luckily, he was right to do so as, just a moment later, he felt soft warm lips against his. the kiss, if it can even be called a kiss, ended as aburptly as it started, leaving dongyoung completely dumbfounded. yuta was smirking at him. dongyoung couldn't even imagine how stupid he must have looked at that moment, eyes wide, face red. "i love you, you idiot." was all yuta said before his smirk turned into the most beautiful smile dongyoung had ever seen. well, all of yuta's were. in the blink of an eye, though, dongyoung latched himself onto yuta, leaning in for a desperate kiss, and yuta complied, letting out an appreciative moan into dongyoung's mouth. his hands moved from cupping yuta's cheeks to stroking hid torso to settling around his hips, fingers curling into the sides of his shirt. yuta, however, had other plans, messing up dongyoung's hair and pulling gently. it made dongyoung crazy. this felt good, he thought. he felt safe. he felt like he was finally fulfilling his purpose in the universe.

 

after a while of lips brushing against lips, tongue asking for entrance and exploring the inside of a mouth that was longed for for what seems an eternity, they separated to catch their breaths, both of them stupidly forgetting to breathe. dongyoung wasn't sure if this was one of his dreams or reality, but he couldn't be bothered. it felt right. it felt magnificent, to be honest. "damn it, hyung, you could have said it earlier." he whined. yuta chuckled. the sound sent butterflies to dongyoung's stomach. "yeah but seeing you pine on me for three years was more interesting." dongyoung groaned. "you totally could have waited ten more." yuta grinned and dongyoung had to bite his lip to stop any embarrassing sound leaving his throat. just as dongyoung was about to complain some more, yuta charged back for another kiss, this time slightly more experienced and a little less desperate, but equally passionate. "just for the record, i love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> wowww if you got this far, congrats!! if you liked it in the slightest, please comment!! i'm v v v insecure about it so i'd appreciate it a lot, constructive criticism is accepted too ^^ (pls be gentle tho i'm fragile ajdjs)  
> if you wanna scream about sth hmu (in the comments or if there are messages here?? i don't have a twitter or tumblr bc my timelines got too toxic and apparently i'm incapable of filtering that out)  
> so yeah anyways, i hope you enjoyed it, love you and thank you for reading this!! DOYU RISE


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